TWFC

We learned that the team after us would not be coming, so we could technically stay on pitch until the floodlights go off. To avoid doubt captains agreed that we would play an extra half hour until 9:30 p.m.. In our world that is the closest we normally might get to a 90 minute match.

We thank Eddie117 for picking the teams this week. An historian might notice an interesting sub plot. Having won the previous week alongside Elvis

Hagenius, Mash10 and VIIGeorgeVII, this week Eddie117 seemed to back himself to lead a rebellion against VIIGeorgeVII's parliament. A kind of gun powder plot if you like.

All seemed good for the first 15 minutes when both teams were exchanging goals and looked pretty even. Then the Mufti began to pull away. There was a clear difference in formation. The Blue Bibs were relying on the skills of their individuals while the Mufti seemed to focus more on the collective. It was a type of Starfleet v Kind Borg (the ones that defeat you but spare you assimilation).

When the Mufti attacked it was as if they moved forward with one mind. More often than not, two or three attackers would arrange themselves across the front line so that the best option could achieve their goal. They retreated to repel Blue Bibs' attacks with the same singularity of purpose. Once when cut off from the collective Jimmy9 simply analysed the Blue Bibs' defenders against him and danced through them, with moves worthy of the Godfather of Soul, then scored.

When the clock struck 9 p.m. the Blue Bibs were only about five goals behind and readying themselves for that end of night comeback that our fixture sometimes experiences. Then, inexplicably, someone began the discussion about the end of the game and perhaps re-setting the scores. As with last week we cannot, beyond reasonable doubt, identify who the person was. To their credit the Blue Bibs gave short shrift to the suggestion and the match continued

Still ahead and with about 15 minutes to go VIIIGeorgeVII gave his keeper a run out on pitch. Pressure from Jimmy9 caused the Blue Bibs to commit a penalty area infringement, this seemed like poetic justice as now Jimmy9 could get his revenge on Sadulla following that disputed penalty of 18 October 2023. However, with early festive generosity Jimmy9 handed the ball to the keeper Steve who was now playing outfield. Steve converted the penalty.

Shortly after scoring the penalty, the Mufti hive mind placed Steve in exactly the right position for a tap in. In what seemed to be the days of miracles and wonders a keeper was on pitch for the closing minutes and on the verge of scoring a hat-trick. JonF clearly could not have this and at one point barged Steve into the fence with such irresistible friendly firmness that if we had VAR it would have had to call the referee to pause before dismissing it as a legal shoulder to shoulder action. A bruised Steve did eventually hit another shot that beat the keeper but hit his left post, as the ball bounced back out it rebounded off of the back of the keeper's leg into the net. Some were happy to confirm this as the attacking player's goal but the keeper accepted he had actually conceded an own goal. The relevant provision in English football's Dubious Goals Committee lexicon is below:

"As a rule, if the initial attempt is goalbound it is credited to the player making the goal attempt. However if the deflection means that a wayward effort results in a goal then it is attributed to the player who had the last definitive touch of the ball."

There was much controversy about this denial of a hat-trick, but we are Tottenham Wednesday and rules come before dreams. Even Fabiocc17, who had announced his partial retirement the week before, was moved to comment on WhatsApp. However, in competitive senior football no one can be legitimately gifted a goal.

The Mufti would go on to be declared winners by a seven goal margin. When players were asked who they voted Man of the Match, the response on social media was

"Between Jimmy, Mash and George"
"Tho tbf, Dan organised us and blocked about 8 or 9 goal bound shots, as well"

This strengthens the already formed assertion that the Mufti played as one collective and could not be separated. Therefore there was no MOTM award. Also there was no filming, so we do not know who was the top scorer.

Suffice it to say

Final Score

Blue Bibs 15 - 22 Mufti

Match awarded to the Mufti.

Things to Note

VIIGeorgeVII.s football has now dismantled all of the club's crop of seniors who are currently active. In each match his teams have scored 18 or more goals and hs expected goals ratio is currently 19.33. Each triumph has been built around a core unit of Elvis, Mash10 and VIIGeorgeVII.

With Andyhibbert, Austin and MarkA away the rule books have been torn up. Dare I say it - A Storm is Coming.... It may be like the return of Pochettino.

Let's do it all again next match at Tottenham Wednesday FC