TWFC

In the week before the match the club agreed terms with Jumhal and we were pleased to welcome him to his first match as a full member. We also welcomed Guest Yasir who kindly came along to help complete the numbers.

Prior to the fixture a player posted on social media that there were new goals and he shared a picture.

Historical picture of a new goal in October 2022

A colleague advised that the player loves football and goes checking pitches daily. Another senior player confirmed that 'you can't teach that love for the game'.

Anyway I digress, the fact is we had new goals ready for strikers to smash balls into. Although he was unable to play, MarkA kindly picked the teams. We are grateful to MarkA for this.

The first person to score in the new goals was JakeFlowers, despite the goalkeeper, Steve, inexplicably claiming the goal should be chalked up as an own goal scored by himself. Steve is reminded of the explanation in the case of VIIGeorgeVII v Denzo 2021 - reported 12 May 2021 where for a keeper to be penalised with an own goal they must do something to hasten or move the ball into the net when it would otherwise not have gone there. It is ruled that Steve did not deliberately or unintentionally divert the ball into the net. The only deliberate action was JakeFlowers accurately shooting the ball towards the goal. Steve's claim for an own goal is found to be without merit. To all extents and purposes, JakeFlowers beat the keeper with a well taken shot.

Dark Tops 0 - 1 Orange Bibs.

VIIGeorgeVII was the second person and JakeFlowers the third to score in the new goals.

Dark Tops 0 - 3 Orange Bibs.

At this point the match recorder notes that somehow available camera angles do not actually show the Dark Top's goal line. Without proper camera angles we have to accept that we played without VAR this week.

The absence of VAR became a major issue when Coach Hagenius hit the the underside of the bar and the ball bounced on the ground and back into play. Orange Bibs as one declared it was in and Dark Tops disagreed. It was agreed the decision would go to VAR but we now find the camera footage did not capture where the ball landed. We may never know whether the whole of the ball crossed the line.

For now the shot, whilst well taken, is not yet ratified as a goal. The final decision must come down to a gentleman's agreement. Freeze frame shows 11 players on the pitch watched the ball. Of those 11 players JakeFlowers, JonF, Ed, Elvis and Jumhal are closest. Those five are urged to search their recollections and, as gentlemen concerned, give a majority ruling on whether the goal was scored.

Spot the ball - Image of 11 players watching Hagenius's shot

Two minutes later Ellislewis123 went on to put all doubt about a fourth goal to bed.

Dark Tops 0 - 4 Orange Bibs.

On 17 minutes Guest Yasir rolled his ankle and was forced out of the game while he was treated with an ice pack. With the Dark Tops down to five men it was agreed that they could play rush keeper and the Orange Bibs would have to play under head height rules.

On 25 minutes (after 8 minutes out on the sideline) Guest Yasir returned with a renewed sense of purpose. Teams were even again and standard rules re-applied for both sides.

On 26 minutes Ed pounced on a loose ball and unleashed one of his obligatory left foot rockets from distance to score for the Dark Tops. Anyone with access to the video should watch Ed and his scholarly movement into space coupled with the predator's instinct to sniff out a half chance and pounce. Early career players take note - much can be achieved by simply reading the game.

Dark Tops 1 - 4 Orange Bibs

On 35 minutes Andyhibbert was inducted into the 'Ave it' hall of fame with a prodigious shot that screamed over the fence, bounced once on the roof of the weights room across the car park and sailed off into the night sky out of the sports centre. Very few players have ever achieved this feat and it is only bettered by Charles, who on 19 March 2014, was able to put the ball out of the centre without even touching the roof across the car park.

Steve later ruefully commented that a defending team must be playing reasonably well when such quality players as Andyhibbert are reduced to shooting from distance and the ball ending up in row Z

Teams took a short drinks break while the ball was retrieved. JonF, who sometimes is a stickler for rules, innocently enquired about how long a keeper has before the ball must be released. The FA rules for our type of game is

An indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing team if a goalkeeper touches or controls the ball with his hands or feet, in the penalty area, for more than four seconds.

With this JonF now had the stick he needed to put pressure on the keeper for the Orange Bibs.

On 41 minutes Jumhal came close to scoring on his debut when he sprang past the Orange Bibs' defensive line and fired off a snap shot into the bottom left corner but this was smothered by Niyi in goal.

On 43 minutes Hagenius finally got the goal he was due. There is a possibility the ball was played on the edge of the area but no opposition player claimed this at the time. The goal stood during the match and cannot be ruled out retrospectively as we were playing without VAR.

No one scored more than two goals this week so there was no award of a match ball.

Final Score

Dark Tops 1 - 5 Orange Bibs

Match awarded to the Orange Bibs.

Things to Note

In conceding only one goal all night long, the team of

Ellislewis123, Elvis, Hagenius, JakeFlowers, Niyi, VIIGeorgeVII

go into the TWFC history book as producing the second best defensive display since club records began.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that good shots will either go in or result in good saves. Niyi is adjudged to have blocked about half a dozen good shots. Orange Bibs colleagues declared that they were pleased with this. An opposing player, Guest Yasir, had the last word when he said that if he himself ever returns to play again he hopes that Niyi has a bad game.

Let's do it all again next match at Tottenham Wednesday FC.