TWFC

The Orange Bibs started with the extra man and the unstated gentlemen’s agreement was that we would ‘see how it goes’. In talking strategy Johnny enthusiastically explained to the Muftis that they would absorb the pressure in the early stages and take it from there. When facing the fire power of Avvon, Ben and Nathan coupled with the consistency of JakeFlowers and JonF and the solid keeping and bewitching runs of Steve there seemed to be no other option than to roll back on the ropes and let the opponents punch themselves out. Ow, oof, ouch WTF.

Ben was ‘mashing it up and kicking it rough’ (to use 1980s/90s street expressions which are so apt for football) and Jake was quickly on his way to his now customary hat-trick. Despite AlMaher scoring for the Muftis, and then coming close again, by half time it was 6 – 1 to the Bibs. Gentlemen asked if a player could be swapped. The Orange Bibs seemed to acknowledge this and then played on. At 8.38pm Gentlemen strongly insisted that a player be swapped. The Orange Bibs asked the Muftis to choose a player. It was all very Downton Abbey and civil.

The Muftis’ captain selected Steve. The rationale seemed to be that in taking the heart of the Orange Bibs’ defence away it should become significantly easier to overhaul the deficit. This was particularly important as Steve had scored as well. The Muftis started the second half knowing that in order to win they would just have to score six more goals than their opponents. Game on. Bibs now played rush keeper with frightening efficiency, huge passing accuracy and perfect movements into positions. If one were a spectator it would have been beautiful watching the Bibs passing round the heart of the Muftis’ midfield and then scoring for fun.

If the Muftis were to pull the match back then players would need to score. Johnny’s, moves began to pay off and he proved once again that his repertoire is as vast as anyone else’s by drilling in a goal from distance. Scott brought the house down with goals that reminded everyone that he will drag a match back by the scruff of its neck if need be. Final quarter of the match and it was 12 – 6 to the Bibs, meaning that the Muftis still needed to score six more goals than their opponents.

Milo, also known as a player with mercurial magical abilities (triple M), was told to go forward and not defend for the rest of the match. Johnny was later assigned to this role too and so was AlMaher. The idea of not defending is unheard of in football but what does one do when six goals behind a team with no fixed keeper? Ever dedicated players, Al, Johnny and Milo could not resist coming back to help out resulting in them being sent back up front with the promise that Niyi and Scott would ‘feed’ them. This crazy pantomime had the desired effect on the Bibs and they seemed uncertain what to expect. Jake had brought up his double brace but the Muftis began scoring more, forcing the Bibs to sit further back and almost play with a fixed keeper. Goals were raining in aplenty from the Muftis. Enhancing his credentials for Player For All Positions Jake was doing good work in goal. Then rushing back from an aborted attack Jake pulled off a save which everyone respected until it was noticed he was nearly two feet outside of his area. The save was then relegated to one that immediately rivalled Shane’s February 2015 Swansea ball boy – v – Eden Hazard save and was punished with a free-kick (there was talk of a penalty, sending off or a direct free kick), the rules actually allowed a direct free kick. Well whatever the Bibs did not concede.

Our time seemed about to elapse but the other team did not arrive. A few weeks back Avvon had spoken wistfully of the days when no other team came after Tottenham Wednesday so we could really get into a match. Be careful what you wish for. You know things are desperate when I end up on the score sheet. Goal hanging, waited for an efficient low route one ball launched up from the Muftis’ half, Bibs’ keeper comes out to narrow the angle, moving ball delicately re-directed through the keeper’s legs. A lazy minimum effort finish if ever there was one but they all count. Goals kept being scored. It was now only 13 – 11 to the Bibs. Muftis were told to get forward and forget about defending, they did so and suddenly it was 13 – 12.

No other team arrived and it was just like when FIFA introduced the Golden Goal to settle tournament matches. Everybody became careful as they secretly knew the next goal could decide the evening. With Johnny, AlMaher and Milo spearheading an arrow formation (think France during the Rugby Union World Cup final 2011 New Zealand Haka) the Bibs were rocked back and the Muftis equalised.

13 – All. ‘Now defence is important’ the Muftis’ keeper yelled at the top of his lungs. 45 seconds later it was agreed that the match could not go on indefinitely and the noble draw was accepted.

Half time: Bibs 6 – Muftis 1

Final score: Bibs 13 - Muftis 13

Things to Note

The match this evening rivals the Coloured Tops 12 -11 win on 14 October for the true grit of a team digging in and not being beaten despite losing all the way to the last minute. Avvon and Ben will be forgiven for thinking dark thoughts about these matches. An epic was promised and an epic was what we got.