TWFC

Ok there were initially six Muftis about to be pitted against five Bibs. Johnny was worried his team had fewer runners than the Bibs. Johnny was told to go to the halfway line and parley with JonF. Anyone who has watched Pirates of the Caribbean will know what a parley is.

Stared down and generally intimidated by Anthonyto, Danny, JonF and Scott; Johnny did not get to the halfway line. Rather JonF told him he would take Kaichan from him and the Muftis could have Milo when he arrived. To Muftis this seemed to be the equivalent of Johnny going to market and coming back with only a handful of magic beans.

Muftis started with five players instead of their original six. Knowing what JonF had done he was told to promise that if Milo did not arrive then a Bibs’ player would swap sides at nominal half time.

The Bibs seemed curiously unprepared when the Muftis struck first to go 1 – 0 ahead. It seemed somewhat odd when they were then 2 – 0 down. Indeed the Bibs seemed totally out of sorts as JakeFlowers, Johnny, Koonal and MartinMac defended from the halfway line and continued to smash the ball home. We had waited for years to see the match up of Danny against MartinMac and now Martin’s team, with a player less, were soon leading 5 – 0. Johnny was dancing rings through the center of the pitch and whenever the ball was given to him JakeFlowers was smashing it home. It seemed to be classic counter-attacking football.

Eventually waking up the Bibs finally started to press forward. Anthonyto and Kaichan were linking up as only friends since childhood could. Scott began to impose himself. JonF eventually scored from about 16 yards out to assert himself and play a captain’s role. Shain poached a goal and Danny brought his A game to the table and scored a brace.

At a more respectable 6 – 4 behind with the time at 8:36pm the Muftis reminded the Bibs that Milo had not arrived.

Photographic representation of how players could have reacted to the breached promise

Jon F was reminded of his promise to exchange a player at nominal half time.

JonF was silent. At 8:39pm JonF was reminded again and remained silent. Johnny explained that it would not be fair to take a player when the Muftis were clearly on top. Ours is a noble game and the half time swap can only take place as a process of offer and acceptance. At 6 – 4 behind it seemed that the Bibs were not going to offer.

Soon the score was 7 – 6 to the Muftis. Shain had scored a quiet hat-trick rivalling JakeFlowers for the title of Goal Machine efficiency.

With the score at 7 – 7 the philosophy spirit briefly inhabited Danny as he tried to play on after a head height ball. The opposition stopped but Danny wanted the advantage. When questioned Danny innocently stated his philosophical purist belief that if a side does not call for their own head height then surely the ball is ok. This is the football equivalent of the principle that things only exist if they are perceived and has been long typified by the question - If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Artist’s representation of the Philosophy Spirit speaking through Danny

Danny was cautioned to behave himself and Muftis were warned of Danny’s ability to get into players’ heads if given half a chance.

It was approaching the end of the match and the other side were nowhere to be seen. It was too early to contemplate the noble draw and the Bibs were in the ascendency. The Bibs scored their eighth goal and having been behind all night the Bibs were suddenly ahead 8 – 7.

Football is an unforgiving game, to help cement the hurt JonF taunted the opposition by pretending he had just seen Milo arrive.

With less than 10 minutes to go the other team were arriving. Throwing caution to the wind the Muftis pushed the Bibs on to the back foot. Bang the Muftis equalised. The match was virtually over. The noble draw was in sight. The Bibs were in no way going to settle for it, they wanted the victory. The Muftis absorbed the pressure and in time added on struck again and took the score to an unexpected 9 – 8.

All that was left was for the Muftis to hang on for a memorable victory. A well taken Bibs’ shot was tipped over by the Muftis’ keeper. The Bibs complained about the time taken to retrieve the ball and demanded a six second limit on climbing back on to the pitch from the garden once the ball was retrieved.

Match restarted. The other team were coming to the gate, but for reasons best known to themselves they did not move to end the match. The Bibs kept coming forward but only tentatively. The next goal was all important.

As the Bibs mounted their attack the gate opened and the other team indicated the match was over. The Bibs were on the ball and charging forward. They refused to stop, someone cried that the match could not end with a move in progress. This genuinely was an instance of some people being on the pitch thinking it is all over.

The ball fell to JonF. The teams parted and JonF had clear sight of goal. 15 or so yards out JonF on the ball unchallenged, last kick of the match. JonF knew he could beat the keeper from 15 yards out. Niyi knew he could, in fact everyone knew JonF could. Adrenalin coursed through JonF and he launched a mighty shot that Avvon, Nathan or Tim would have been pleased with, initially at least. The ball rocketed off of his boot and inexplicably rose and kept rising going far over the bar, over the fence and into the enchanted garden, never to be seen again.

Match officially ended. Johnny’s choices at the start and midway through the match had been vindicated.

Final score Muftis 9 – Orange Bibs 8.

Let’s do it all again next Wednesday at Tottenham Wednesday FC