Previous Reports
Match Report Wed 11 May 2016
Subject: Players and Payers 2016_05_11 Ben Hur and PlayStation 4
Payers
Barkball £1.50
Ben £2.50
Dave £2.50
JonF £5.00
Niyi £5.00
Scott £3.50
Steve £5.00
Players
Mufti
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Avvon, Danny, Eddie01, JakeFlowers, Niyi, Steve
Orange Bibs
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Barkball, Ben, Dave, JonF, Scott
Six Muftis against Five Orange Bibs. The Bibs decided to play rush keeper and the option was left open to switch a player at half time.
The match was close throughout most of the first half. Indeed it was so easy going at one point that the Muftis’ goalkeeper remonstrated with everyone for letting Barkball slow to walking pace and stroll through the midfield playing now you see it now you don’t with the ball.
The Muftis did end the first half slightly ahead but there was never any proper daylight between the teams. A bit like a Spurs team with Arsenal closely chasing them towards the end of the season.
Danny would take the match by the scruff of the neck and score trade mark goals only to see the quite resolute men of the Bibs score back again. Steve praised JakeFlowers for being blessed with laser sights when shooting. Despite this for everything thrown at them the Bibs just would not go away. At nominal half time it was about 6 – 5 to the Muftis. JonF who was continuing his scoring ways was asked if he wanted to take a player. His and his team’s stony silence was the final indignity to the Muftis who then resolved to knuckle down and inflict a serious defeat on the five men of the Bibs.
Ben, who has in the past professed a dislike of attacking the garden end, was on fire. As he sped down the right with Steve marking him goal side the next thing we saw was Steve unceremoniously collapsed in a heap on the ground with Ben over him.
Seeing an opportunity to rile Ben the opposing keeper exclaimed “Benjamin!, Benjamin!, No, No. No!!! “.
Ruefully shaking his head, wringing his hands and wiping away tears of distress with his gloves he muttered “There is no place for that in the modern game”.
Steve, as honest as the day is long, rather than rolling in agony got up and gave the ball to Ben and confessed he had committed an obstruction. The quickly taken free kick resulted in a goal and Ben looked daggers at the keeper and said “That will teach you”.
It seemed that playing alongside Dave and Scott was the making of Ben, suddenly it was no longer possible to mess with his head. Later with Ben through on goal the keeper handled the ball marginally outside of his area. Penalty to the Bibs. The now self-assured Ben stepped up to take it. Players told the keeper to make himself big. The penalty taker was reminded that only one penalty had ever been missed on the home ground (it is two actually). The keeper asked Steve if he would like to go in goal for the penalty. Every trick was used to unnerve the penalty taker. Ben looked to the keeper’s right, the keeper went that way and the penalty was slotted in the other corner. It seemed no amount of trickery was going to undo the Bibs.
If memory serves Scott bent a ball in from distance to score, Barkball kept his head one on one and dinked the ball over the keeper to impose a firm Bibs’ lead.
It was a source of relief when Eddie01 began crafting goals for the Muftis with Avvon, Danny and JakeFlowers and soon it was 10 – 10. In order to do this it was necessary to beat Dave who was performing excellently in goal for the Bibs.
With scores level the pressure became such that even Avvon and Eddie01 went in goal for the Muftis and were forced to make a few good saves. With the match going into the final stages all the Muftis needed to do was stretch the pitch and tire the Bibs out. Even this did not work as no matter how many times the Bibs came forward they seemed to be as quick at swarming back to defend. At 12 – 10 to the Bibs it seemed as if Barkball was playing a PlayStation FIFA match as he gently led his players through where he wanted them to be and the actions they needed to take in order to win the match. As he orchestrated things the Muftis, without a controller, were powerless to stop the Bibs who scored a further brace before the match ended.
Match awarded to the Orange Bibs 14 -11
Things to Note
Spurs have Champions League football from 2016-17, our Wednesdays may never be the same.
We must enjoy our regular home fixtures while we can. Get booking at Tottenham Wednesday FC .