TWFC

Avvon and Ben had come upon hard times recently, with each unfortunately finding themselves on the wrong side of some notable defeats and last minute comebacks. The two were put on opposite sides this week meaning that unless there was a draw either Avvon or Ben would enjoy a victory.

On the face of it both teams were evenly matched. However, JonF and Steve were probably still buzzing from their 23 – 7 demolition of the Muftis the previous week. This meant that the Bibs probably had a slight psychological advantage.

In many previous weeks the script has been an opening goal from JakeFlowers, then another and eventually an awakening from the opposition. It was very much the same this week but without the awakening. At 2 – 0 to the Bibs there was slight consternation from the Muftis when suddenly the Bibs scored a third. 3 – 0 down within 15 minutes was not really a problem but the Muftis would have preferred to reduce the difference.

Scott smashed a trademark shot into the back of the net and suddenly it was 4 – 0 to the Bibs. Those who had played the previous week suddenly recognised that JonF was orchestrating another comprehensive drubbing of his opponents.

5 – 0 to the Bibs and Ben was beginning to smile for the first time in months.

6 – 0 and no one in a Mufti top could understand what they were being subjected too.

Halfway through the match and the Bibs led 7 – 0. It was unheard of. We had spoken of the ‘mother of all beatings’ the last week but this week the message seemed to be ‘beat it, just beat it’.

JonF was the Joachim Löw of North London and the Muftis were his Brazil. It is believed that no team in the recent recorded history of our fixture has ever gone a whole half without scoring. The Muftis were warned that they were on the verge of ignominy and of setting records for all of the wrong reasons.

Ryan Giggs recently explained that after being told off at half time in his early career he played a blinder in the second half. The Muftis suddenly woke up and captain Danny threaded a ball into the goal through the eye of a needle between the keeper and the left post. It could not have been any tighter but it meant the Muftis would not finish the match without scoring . Bibs 7 – Muftis 1.

This infuriated the Bibs and they scored back to make it 8 – 1. Muftis were then warned that no team had ever finished the evening with less than four goals.

The threat of going down in historical infamy was too much for the Muftis. The new man Samuelwhite, paired up front with Avvon, began to take the game to the opposition and hit the post as he signalled his intention to drag the match back by the scruff of its neck.

The Muftis pulled back a second goal and began to hem the Bibs into their own half. A flurry of goals followed and suddenly it was 8 – 4.

Further goals were traded and Milo began to push forward and in an inevitable show of ring mastery he coerced the Muftis back into the match. Somehow the deficit was reduced to 12 – 9 to the Bibs, Samuelwhite had also scored his debut goal. Rocked back the Bibs could only watch as a stray ball on the edge of the area was lashed into the net by Avvon. His feet were clearly outside of the area and the ball was believed to be over the line in open play.

‘In the area. No goal!’ exclaimed the Bibs’ keeper. ‘No goal’ firmly echoed Scott for the Bibs.

‘Ignore them, don’t let them get in your head’ advised Niyi for the Muftis.

From this point on the match entered a Twilight Zone where Scott kept one score and Niyi another.

When the Muftis scored again one school of thought was that it was 12 – 11 and another was that it was 12 -10.

Ben took a mighty shot on the Muftis’ goal and cleared the fence, then with one bounce on the roof the ball went over the adjoining building. Such was the competitive edge to the match that Ben was told to leave the ball. It was collateral damage. The spare ball was brought on and the match continued.

Soon it was only 13 – 12 to the Bibs (or 13 – 11 depending on who you listened to). Under pressure the Bibs committed a penalty area infringement resulting in a penalty. Danny took it and was coolness personified as he drew the match level. 13 – 13.

The Muftis’ joy was short lived as almost immediately the Bibs scored again to go 14 – 13 ahead. There were still dark rumbling from some quarters about whether there really was only one goal in it.

Eventually it was 15 – 13 and the match was well into extra time. The other team had not arrived. JonF was moved to ask whether the intention was to just keep playing until the Muftis could get ahead?

At 16 – 14 to the Bibs it was agreed that the match would be played for 5 minutes more.

The Muftis brought the match back to 16 – 15. Ben was in goal for the Bibs and as his goal was battered he was forced to pull off inspired saves to keep his team in it. Everything seemed to hinge upon the last goal. There were about two minutes left and the Muftis still had the disputed earlier goal hanging over the heads, which might be brought up again if they were able to draw level.

The ball fell to Scott, he moved down the left and arrowed a shot past the Muftis’ keeper and put the match beyond reach. It was a form of poetic justice.

Match awarded to the Bibs 17 – 15.

Things to Note

Samuelwhite had a sterling debut and finished the evening with two well taken goals and was only denied more by the woodwork and inspired keeping.

Ben has achieved a long awaited victory.

Following his roof clearing shot Ben is also elevated to the top tier of the ‘Ave it League’.