Previous Reports
Match Report Wed 26 Oct 2016
Subject: Players and Payers 2016_10_26 Behold a Dutch Master
Payers
anthonyto £3.00
Austin
£2.50
Ben
£5.00
Jake
£3.00
Jorge
£3.00
Koonal
£2.00
Nathan
£2.50
Niyi
£1.50
Scott
£2.50
Lads thank you for getting the details of subscriptions to me at short notice. There will be a round on me at the Christmas night out.
Players
Coloured Tops
--------------------
Austin, Ben, JakeFlowers, Koonal, Nathan
Dark Tops
---------------
andyhibbert, anthonyto, Jorge, Niyi, Scott
We didn't have any bibs so this week was a throwback to the olden days of playing based on top colours. Teams nicely fell into those wearing solid dark tops against those with any kind of colours in their tops. So for example if a person was in the Celtic home strip they would play for the Coloured Tops.
AndyHibbert scored twice and Jorge joined him to race the Dark Tops to a comfortable 4 - 2 lead in the first third of the match. Scott is a kind of Barkball type player who guides you through a game plan that will win the night. Traditionally if Scott's team is ahead at half time then with über-efficiency this lead will be extended until the opposition implode.
However, the Halloween fixture is the one night of the year when traditions go out of the window. Without Shain to man mark him Ben seemed to have more freedom. One notable move saw him in the corner of the pitch with the opposition all over him. Somehow with a trade mark drop of the shoulder and deceptive acceleration he was running away from the corner still on the ball. Beating another player he adjusted to an angle facing away from the goal. Someone asked where he was going? As the fourth player looked at Ben in puzzlement he literally curved back and slotted the ball into the net from about 14 yards out in the manner that a snooker player might pot a ball along the side.
In 2015 Koonal went away. Players were never sure whether he was out on loan or if a hushed transfer deal had been done. Tonight we learned what some had suspected, Koonal had been abroad to learn the ways of the Dutch Masters. Everybody knows that Koonal and Arik are fast, but this evening we were treated to special speed. It was akin to the practice of Apparation, sometimes seen in Harry Potter films, where a person will be in one place then suddenly appear in another. This led to him getting on the score sheet at one point by simply racing from his own half to intercept a ball on the edge of the area and flick it into the net.
Under Koonal's stewardship we were treated to a dazzling lesson in Total Football. The Coloured Tops scored seven times without reply to take the score to 9 – 4 to the Coloured Tops.
The Dark Tops should have brought the score back but suddenly Koonal was in goal saving shot after shot. The normally stoic Austin was heard to comment after the match that Koonal displayed reaction times measured in 1/8ths of a second.
How can we compete with a player who can relocate to the Netherlands for a season and train in the Holland system of being able to play anywhere on the pitch? Players were bewildered, all we can do is hail a new Dutch Master.
I think the match ended with the Dark Tops managing one more goal to close the score to 9 – 5 to the Coloured Tops. Players advise that I missed the Coloured Tops reaching 11 goals. No one from the Dark Tops disagreed so final score is recorded as Coloured Tops 11 – 5 Dark Tops.
Let’s do it all again this Wednesday at Tottenham Wednesday FC .
